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Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Save the Retards

It's like Save the Whales for slactivists.

Oh a look a heavy political post for once yay!

Anyway, I think it's apparent on how much the pro-cure aspect of Aut-politics really makes me want to long hot shower and try to wash the disgust off my back. I see the common theme of Pro-cure activism something that is very similar to this:
(Trigger Warning: Emotional content)

Ah yes, sad depressing music with a starving probably exploited black child telling white people that they should save the black child because it's your responsibility to save third world brown/black children. The underlining message is simple, black people in third world countries need while people to save them. It's in every AIDS ad every anti-war protest. It's imperialism in the guise of charity.

Autism Politics does the same thing

It rallies NT (white, middle class NTs) to be "aware" of Autism, to save the poor lost children of this "epidemic" they use the same tools, sad music and feeling of grave seriousness. Because your son could have autism. I kinda wanna go outside listen to some Daft Punk and smoke weed. A buzz could totally kill this depressive shit.

It adds on to the Otherness that aut-adults feel as well as the stigmatization that AutSpks often shoves on them. They are tragedies needed to be saved by the smart rich white NTs. It's repeatedly shoved into our heads both by media and by doctors. The idea we need a Jesus is something that I actively protest. It's the perfect example of NT privilege, the idea that they the personal Jesus of some five year old autistic boy and that their donations and volunteering would "save them" It's gross and it's why pro cure often love playing victim around aut-adults who firmly decry the arch-angelism that NT activists seem to exude. It makes them look like bless saints while we are the poor "ignorant savages" needed to be evangelized and converted. I heard this story before? Didn't everyone die of smallpox?

NT privilege is like most majority statuses, people are oblivious to it and not even aware they have it. Self-Dx I am sure know they have it, hence their avoidance on getting diagnosed. I don't blame them anymore, no one wants their NT privilege taken away. People so unaware of their NT status have a hard time seeing the herohttp://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gific bullshit that AutSpks propagates. To them it makes sense, after all? Don't we donate money to Cancer, AIDS, Muscular Dystrophy? To them we are another philanthropic venture unto white middle-class patronization.

It's this heroism that's really hurting self-advocates. Not bad policies, charity-corps, or vulnerable parents lashing out at the turn of fate that they didn't want. They are symptoms of a the real problem and why self-advocacy is struggling.

Can you see? They want to save the retards.

Melanie's article is good example of the mindset that most of use are breastfeed on. It's one of the most tiring concepts I've ever dealt with. And every time we profess anger and indignation over being told that they just want to help us, we are whip-lashed with guilt and sheepish remorse. Like we should feel ashamed for being self-reliant. Our identity is being used as a marketing tool and being against this is somehow "terrible" and we are "bad" for saying "We are not your poster children." Self-advocates are being under attacked by Pro-cure NTs calling us fakes and posers, not really autistic and so forth. They are attacking us because we're removing their "hero high" from them. The feeling of being a hero or a superman to their child/sibling/friend/patient etc. I swear it gives them some sort of thrill when they go to walks or fund-drives. Like they think that they are really saving the word. To have a self-advocate tell you, your oppressing us and continuing the discrimination and stigma...wow it does really kill your buzz. No wonder Pro-cures get cranky when we tell them the truth. It is a buzz kill.

It all comes down to egotism, and frankly it's time to kill some egos.

You're not our Jesus.

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Thoughts on "Horse Boy"

I heard about this book months ago at the library, and the premised sounded interesting. Of course I did lift a huge eyebrow on a shamanic horseback ride in Mongolia with their autistic son. That made me go "Oh. White people."

Hate it when privilege families do this crap.

I do have my linger doubts about this movie as an autist and one that is also a shamanic path. I am curious to see how much of this is hokey New Age and White privilege and how much of it is genuine love and an acceptance with a dash of spiritualism.

Now, I will say, I find horse-back riding to be powerfully soothing and it's probably the only natural talent I have, it doesn't make my symptoms go away, but it does allow me to think, and be as I am. I could give up all my meds, to be riding regularly again. I miss riding a lot.

The beginning of course starts off with the typical 'Autism ruin us and our child blah blah we tried everything blah blah nothing work, we were desperate." I wasn't terribly intrigued with that.

Though hearing Rupert go on about how Rowan was calmer and opened up to him on horse back was kinda interesting, I thought to myself "Hippotherapy could be us-oh." Then he mentioned he wanted use shamanic healing because he had experience with it when he was in Africa. Oh. Well. At least his wife had some common sense. But they did decide to go Mongolia to travel on horse back to he shaman after shaman and being crazy white people with shit tons of money Christ

They give this kid Valtrex really. Oh they believe in the "Heavy Metals" shit. Great....

I have to admit though, the drumming by the shamans sound like a horse galloping, I was getting really into it. However I kinda rolled my eyes, as they describe that the spirit of Kristin's grandmother was on Rowan, according to the shamans and she is bi-polar, and trying to "take their son away?" Good God.

Quote: "I had to ask myself, did really have his best interest at heart? Was I terrible father?"

Oh Jesus Christ on a Cracker. You dragged our autistic kid to Mongolia. For whacky shamanic crap and you decide that this time was good idea to matyrize. Spirits of the earth...please help me.

Well at least Rowan got use to the shamanic ritual and chilled out, nice adjustment little bro, however I kinda felt bad for Tomo the little Mongolian boy who seemed put off by Rowan. However his interaction with him is endearing and seeing him doing more play with him is nice. Maybe I am jealous because I played by myself and I never liked playing with others. Mostly because I jut got sick of being the "retard".

Though the whole thing with auties being one of the reason humanity is successful is nice little ego boost. THANKS TEMPLE! Rowan is supper cute with the goats though. However when he reject the horse-riding I did feel for Rupert a bit. But...At the same time. Why didn't Rupert let Rowan easy himself on the horse? Let Rowan get to know his partner? It felt like the forced him on the horse. It was bit...jarring.

Eventually Rowan did calm himself while riding and I think this line touched me
Quote:" I am a better father because of his autism." Awww that is kinda cute.

The part of the reindeer herders that live on the Siberian border, is kinda...cute. Over all I was expecting the same, spiritual mumbo jumbo. What I got was something that didn't surprise me, but still made me happy. The reindeer herder believed that Rowan could be a shaman in the future. This brought a grin to my face, because it's common for some indigenous cultures to believe autists could be shamans and that they are different because they are more spiritually attuned to the earth. Personally I rather take that tripe over poisons by vaccines. As a shaman myself, this is kinda encouraging.

Near the end, the shaman said to Rupert and Kristin, that Rowan's incontinence and meltdowns will go away immediately, after he finished healing him. I lifted an eyebrow. Yeah he maybe potty trained, but the meltdowns won't go away. However just as I expected, he was bathrooming on his own and there were more shots of him being chilled than tired and cranky. Oh ok. Was it the power of the shaman, or Rowan learning to adapt? I be the family believes the former...*shrug* I did like the prayer that Rupert gave was to intergration and understanding than a cure. Not bad.

Over all the movie was...meh. I was more annoyed at the privlege of the family than anything else. At least the movie pushed the, "Accept not cure" idea. Which was at least reassuring. Rupert said his son is still autistic but lost all the suffering that came with it and moved passed the emotional and physical incontinence through shamanism. I am still waiting for my shamanic miracle as I pray and listen to the sprirts, but then again. I don't need a miracle.

3 and half hand-flaps.

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Speaking in Drakk part duex

I know I know it's been a month since I've updated, I can expla-no never mind. I can't. I was actually to lazy to update. That. And I have boyfriend now. So I have been madly in love and oblivious to autism politics. I might also co-mod AFF (cue screaming) to help out Richard who is one of the admins.

Dear God. Save me now.

Speaking of praying to supposed deities. This brings up my topic today. I am planning to come out to my mom (again...cue more screaming), this is not going to be easy at all and honestly it's probably going to be the most stressful conversatiohttp://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gifns I am going to have with my mom (this makes telling my mom I am going to live with Patrick seem like a cakehttp://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gif-walk now). Because of this stress I will fall into the violent spiral of Communication Hell, and I won't make DAMN sense on what I am trying to explain to my mom.

This seems to happen a lot to aspies and auties and really...it's the unmasking of passing NT. Get us upset or flustered, language skills go POOF. It is apparent when I start getting into a discussion with someone that I either loose speech or my speech become convoluted. It's hard to have a conversation when I am upset because most NTs struggle to understand what I am saying and they get frustrated and then...everyone is angry.

It's like one of my drakkhani speaking their language to a human that knows it, but is still learning it. When upset the conversation ends up like this:

I could tell Taajah is frustrated, his head is lowered and his face is grim. I tried to ask him in English what's wrong, instead I got a response in Drakk. He flicked his tail and wiggled his ears, the barks and sharp word-clicks made the sentence hard to understand, I replied with a note of confusion in Drakk, I got a more growly response, changing the sentence again. At this point I just backed off. I can't understand Taahaj when he is angry.

Words become harder to understand when I am upset. Langauge almost changes. I have to find a way to keep myself from being upset...or have my sister play translator.