And no. I am still not feeling productive
Again told in Hanai's point of view and modernized for brevity's sake.
Summer has always been a very loosely structured time for Tikaani, Maka is at work as is Amana and Tikaani is often under stimulated. As a parent to my growing autistic nephew (who shot up another inch this summer and is getting close to 6'2" by the way) I feel it's my duty to make sure he is simulated and enriched. Code words out of my hair and out of my face. I can only deal with "AUNTIE!" only for so long before I shout something vulgar and throw him outside.
Mondays have been pool days when the weather is over 85F, if it's rainy or too cool it's Movie Day or going to the rec center. Tuesdays have been going to the library, Wednesdays have been hiking days were we drive out and go for long afternoon hikes at the nature park, Thursdays is going to see a Movie at the dollar theater, Fridays are Soccer days playing at local team at the rec center and weekends are "Boy days" which my husband and brother drag my nephew's brown ass into the Mini Van for whatever half-baked attempt for male bonding. Normally it's fishing or canoing which Tikaani adores but Maka had brilliant idea of taking Tikaani to the shooting range with he and Amana. Yeah brilliant idea, lets take the kid with sensory processing issues to a place with a lot noise and weird smells(not to mention GUNS!). Tikaani came home exhausted and grumpy and threw a huge fit around shower time. When I heard why he was so surly, you best believe I cussed our my spouse in five different languages and had him on the futon that night.
Now the routine is becoming too familiar to him. Movie days are not enough and Soccer is over. So my nephew has been outside on the trampoline or in the garden or riding his bike. That is until he gets bored again, then it's "AUNTIE CAN I HAVE ______" for three straight hours. School can't come quick enough.
However I have not been looking forward to the IEP meetings and getting back on the routines for Junior year. His last aid Mr. Howe, was retiring. He was one of the best aid I had with Tikaani, he knew his strengths and challenges and worked withhimnot with everyone else. Tikaani liked Mr."Jack" as well and often referred to him on his keypad as "Very nice good guy with Game Boy. Now we had a fresh out of undergrad school bubblegum chewing white chick to be his new aid. I met her Yesterday at our first IEP meeting, setting goals for him for this year. Tikaani was with me for this one and had his laptop and used that to communicate. The primary teachers for his grade this year asked him questions on what he wanted to do for this year, he told them he wanted to make more friends and get "Surprisingly Good marks" We've set up goals for graduation including him going to a Career center as well as him learning to manage his own schedule as well as his own money and time. Then the aid showed up, she was running late which didn't impressed me but when I saw her I knew things were going to be tough year. She was upbeat over bearing and over energetic. She was a typical well..NT. Tikaani who had calm body language and was doing well, immediately recoiled when "Micah Thomson" started gushing on how excited she was about working with him and how much fun they were going to have this year. She talked fast and wore too much body splash. Needless to say Tikaani was bit off put by her.
I told her about this years goals including
-Job Training
-Social skills building
-Refining communication
-Life Skills training at school (like managing lunch money)
-Extra circular actives
-Minimizing time in Special Ed
Tikaani was still spending mornings and late afternoons in Special Ed we're hoping to have that just one period a day by mid year. She was enthusiastic to work with him and talked mostly to me and never to him which was red flag to me. But I didn't give up on her yet, time will tell.
End of the meeting we headed to do some groceries and Tikaani said that he was "Unsure" about Micah. I told him to give her time that she'll eventually mellow out. Tikaani looked dubious about that, I couldn't blame him, but I still had faith that things will work out.
First day of school is next week, this will a good test to see if Micah is really a good fit for Tikaani.
Tikaani
The mascot of Prism*Song
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Drakkhani FAQ
Posting this here for easy access, Sorry about the RP spam guys
Copy pasta from my DA in 08.
So it as I am drawing these guys, I figured you people would like an FAQ about them. Just to give you the general idea about these critters how I see them draw them. It acts as a guide incase you want to request one or make one up =D
1) Q: What is a drakkhani?
A: A drakkhani is race of draconic humanoids that I created for my fantasy world Roannora (though they pop up everywhere). They stand upright, walk bipedal but can walk quad. Fly and breathe fire. They look more dragon but they have human faces.
2) Q: What the dimorphism between a male drakkhani from a female one?
A: Almost none. Males and females have slight differences.
Males:
-Have no mammary slits.
-Lightly larger and muscular
Females:
-Have mammary slits
-Hips are large for egg laying
-a little more curvy
Both look similar in hair and face, both have genital slits. Like sharks or dolphins. But they are mostly androgynous.
3) Q: What do drakkhani generally look like?
A: A little like this --> http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h39/NightStorm_02/Drakkaniexample.jpg This is Ionah
drakkhani large feet designed for climbing wide hands (Ionah's is hidden) as well. The have horns their head and throat fire pouch. Legs are bowed. The lurch when they walk, a little like raptors.
4) Q: How do drakkhani fly?
A: A combination of large wings, hollow wing bones, and hydrogen producing flight bladders.
5) Q: How do they breathe fire?
A: A combination of a false pallaet and hydrogen gas ignited by the back teeth covered in platinum. The pouch expands as the drakkhani breaths in and contract when he exhales. False pallet lays in back the throat that protects his insides from getting roasted.
6) Q: Are drakkhani territorial?
A: Most are. They generally have scent trails left in the air during flight for there clan to follow. Others have rune marks on stone pillars stating to elves or humans that they are entering "_____'s Grounds. Most would take heed and leaving, depending on clan.
7) Q: Are drakkhani friendly to humans?
A: Generally yes. Most are hospital to humans if they are polite and respectful, though if you are not. Well...I am sure your head would might a nice warning pole =D
Take not that most clans are xenophobic, but a few are very welcoming.
8) Q: What do they like to for fun?
A: drakkhani have several hobbies. Hunting, magic craft story telling. Most love to bask. They lay in the warm sun and soak up the solar rays =D
9) Q: What clans to drakkhani have?
A: They have 12 known Major Clans and several subfamilies. Clan is word I use for their social structure. Clan is a actually Gaelic word meaning "child". I use Clan for their social structure since they the "children" of the first founders. Most of the clan members are related.
They are as followed:
Lunaughti
Greenflame
Bluefang
Rautaun
Stormwake
Galesong
Yu'Taka
Downgust
Wintervale
Sunwing
Glasswing
Kalijani
10) Q: Can I ask for you to draw me one?
A: Sure just note me or AIM me for one or even ask here =D
11)Q: Do drakkhani mate for life?
A) No. drakkhani are pretty poly by nature, they might have one particular male and female they breed with but they could have several lovers,Orgies for everyone
12: Q) Do drakkhani have marital customs?
A) Yes and no, in the Nirvana City universe drakkhani emulate a lot of human customs, including marriage rituals. There is one traditional custom though, in drakk culture a pair-bond would often fly together in a dance then grab each other's hands and free fall as they are falling to their deaths they let go and ascend back up together. Then the Shaman of the clan pronounces them as a pair. Because of their polyamory they often have no need to "Fall-bond" and most will just hook up have sex and lay eggs and move one. This is common in small sub-clans when they need to expand the gene pool.
13: Q: How do drakkhani feel about human monogamy?
A: They think it's a joke, they might say, "what monogamy?" in response.
14: Q: Are their funeral customs?
A: Birth and Deaths are a big deal in Drakk society. When a drakkhani dies several things happen.
-if they died naturally (age or sickness), a shaman would bless the body and ask the Goddess to consecrate their soul. Then they would have sky burial. Spine is broken and the body is bound up in white linen with bright ribbons of many colors, flowers and spices are put on the sky bundle. drakkhani would remove the horns, talons and wings, and burn them in a massive fire. They are the three most important part to a drakkhani. The mate and family member will then take the body to a mountain top to rest and become part of the forest. The rest of the clan will keen, many humans who hear a drakkhani funeral song, often get the willies, it's something like whale song and Tuvan throat singing. All members sing together.
-However if they died in battle, either their pair-mate or closest companion or brother/sister will partake of ritualized cannibalism. The will eat the heart of their fallen companion, taking their soul inside them. The rest of the body is would be buried in drakkhani fashion.
15: Q: Would the death of a drakkhani child be the same as an adult.
A: Yes, but their would probably be more grief, parents might weep in their keening song or before preforming the sky burial would maybe cradle the baby and sing it a lullaby to quiet the soul of a child that never reached adulthood (this is seen as really morbid by humans). It's also to prevent Utdene, which is the ghost of a child either taken from their mother or killed before adulthood. Utdene are often curses prevent females from having children until the spirit is put to rest.
Quirky note, in modern drakkhani culture, most older drakkhani are 'pro-life' not for the same reasons as humans though. This is based on the old superstition of the Utdene. Many older females from the home world believe that terminating an unborn baby drakkhani upset the soul of the child causing a Utdene or 'ghost curse', this is all massive superstition and may younger drakkhani don't believe in this.
16: Q: Do drakkhani have ritualized rape?
A: No only one clan does this. Bluefangs might have something like appears to be rape but it's more or less a dominate male pressing his penis against a younger male to symbolize mounting him. It's suppose to suppress the hormones to mate. Humans assume all clans do this, not a small minority and it's often sensationalized by the media.
17: Q: Do drakkhani have sex in the air?
A: yes many do, it's considered a traditional away to consummate a marriage.
18: Q: Do drakkhani masturbate?
A: Who doesn't? drakkhani don't have a large stigma on sex and self-pleasure.
19: Q: What kind of religion does drakkhani have?
A: polytheistic, they have goddess figure...Starfang and other minor gods, they also practice ancestral worship.
20: Q: Is it frowned upon for a Drakk to mate with a human
A: Yes. Drakk/human children are possible though magic, but if they are ever conceived and born they are freaks with a lot of disorders. So it's frown upon to have sex with them with the intent to breed.
21: Q: Do females have periods?
A: Twice a year. Also males have testosterone surges and are more violent than usual.
22: Q: What age to hatchings breath fire?
A: 8-18 Depending on who...Lucian was late in the fire breathing department.
23: Q: Is there sexism?
A: That's more of a human concept really.
24: Q: Do drakkhani have human vices?
A: Yes, drakkhani rarely smoke because of flight, but some drink booze, sex up everything, gamble, steal....
25: Q: Do drakkhani have any genetic disorders or disabilities.
A: Yes, "Loose-Web Syndrome" is when the webbing in the wings are weak and tear easily. Females might have "Placental Birth Disorder" in which they give birth live instead of laying eggs. They might be deaf or blind. Autistic drakkhani are kinda unheard of, since their autism wouldn't be like a human's. I like to think that all drakkhani are perpetually Aspie. XD
26: Q: What are the birthing customs?
A: drakkhani believe in "double births" the lay of the egg is the first birth and the second is the hatchling emerging from the sack, this is met with singing and blessing of the newborn. The shaman would read a poem blessing the child for it's new life within the clan. Siblings would squeak and chirp and touch the newborn. Clan members would take turn holding him/her.
27: Q: Homosexuality is considered stigmatic in drakkhani culture.
A: No. Most drakkhani are pansexual, sex is sex, it can be for breeding or having fun. What is look down upon is egg-stealing.
28: Q: Can drakkhani be racist/Specicist?
A: Yes. Anthrophobia is common for old drakks. Hatred towards elves is also considered to be a drakkhani thing
29: Q: Are drakkhani big in adoption?
A: Yes, drakkhani are communal, while hatchlings in the clan bond with their parents; everyone raises the hatchlings as well, so hatchlings regard clan members as “aunties and uncles” and see them as extended parents. Some same-sex pairs adopt eggs that have been orphaned or abandoned. Will they raise a human child? Yes. If it was abandoned or orphaned around their aerie.
30: Q: Are drakkhani literate?
A: Yes and No. Most can read Drakk in easily learning English or any human language takes longer
31: Q: How do drakkhani show affection or love or arousal?
A: nursing hatchlings wag their tails while feeding, babies will purr while being held. These infantile behaviors are still exhibited by adults while they are with their pair or lover. drakkhani won't kiss unless they are influence by humans, to show the same sort of intimacy, pairs will:
-Nuzzle noses,
-Rub their horns together
-Rub their tails together
-Cover each other in their wings
-Nuzzle necks
-Kneed or massage backs, (where the wings connect)
Arousal can be pretty damn obvious sometimes, Males will have their phallus exposed, but in the same time that can also be a sign of dominance or aggression not always "ooh I'm horny" They might lick the air, growl low or wiggle their ears. Funny enough humans often think that when males expose, it's because their aroused, and many often get hurt by interfering with male displaying dominance.
Little boys often have their phallus exposed too as hatchlings, they might hump the air as well, much to their parents annoyance (and this is often discouraged). They stop this at age 3, but it start alllll over again at age 13, males want to rub up against everything on the account of the surge of testosterone and several other hormones that humans lack, and females start going through their bi annual heats. It's a lovely time to grow up 8D
Copy pasta from my DA in 08.
So it as I am drawing these guys, I figured you people would like an FAQ about them. Just to give you the general idea about these critters how I see them draw them. It acts as a guide incase you want to request one or make one up =D
1) Q: What is a drakkhani?
A: A drakkhani is race of draconic humanoids that I created for my fantasy world Roannora (though they pop up everywhere). They stand upright, walk bipedal but can walk quad. Fly and breathe fire. They look more dragon but they have human faces.
2) Q: What the dimorphism between a male drakkhani from a female one?
A: Almost none. Males and females have slight differences.
Males:
-Have no mammary slits.
-Lightly larger and muscular
Females:
-Have mammary slits
-Hips are large for egg laying
-a little more curvy
Both look similar in hair and face, both have genital slits. Like sharks or dolphins. But they are mostly androgynous.
3) Q: What do drakkhani generally look like?
A: A little like this --> http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h39/NightStorm_02/Drakkaniexample.jpg This is Ionah
drakkhani large feet designed for climbing wide hands (Ionah's is hidden) as well. The have horns their head and throat fire pouch. Legs are bowed. The lurch when they walk, a little like raptors.
4) Q: How do drakkhani fly?
A: A combination of large wings, hollow wing bones, and hydrogen producing flight bladders.
5) Q: How do they breathe fire?
A: A combination of a false pallaet and hydrogen gas ignited by the back teeth covered in platinum. The pouch expands as the drakkhani breaths in and contract when he exhales. False pallet lays in back the throat that protects his insides from getting roasted.
6) Q: Are drakkhani territorial?
A: Most are. They generally have scent trails left in the air during flight for there clan to follow. Others have rune marks on stone pillars stating to elves or humans that they are entering "_____'s Grounds. Most would take heed and leaving, depending on clan.
7) Q: Are drakkhani friendly to humans?
A: Generally yes. Most are hospital to humans if they are polite and respectful, though if you are not. Well...I am sure your head would might a nice warning pole =D
Take not that most clans are xenophobic, but a few are very welcoming.
8) Q: What do they like to for fun?
A: drakkhani have several hobbies. Hunting, magic craft story telling. Most love to bask. They lay in the warm sun and soak up the solar rays =D
9) Q: What clans to drakkhani have?
A: They have 12 known Major Clans and several subfamilies. Clan is word I use for their social structure. Clan is a actually Gaelic word meaning "child". I use Clan for their social structure since they the "children" of the first founders. Most of the clan members are related.
They are as followed:
Lunaughti
Greenflame
Bluefang
Rautaun
Stormwake
Galesong
Yu'Taka
Downgust
Wintervale
Sunwing
Glasswing
Kalijani
10) Q: Can I ask for you to draw me one?
A: Sure just note me or AIM me for one or even ask here =D
11)Q: Do drakkhani mate for life?
A) No. drakkhani are pretty poly by nature, they might have one particular male and female they breed with but they could have several lovers,
12: Q) Do drakkhani have marital customs?
A) Yes and no, in the Nirvana City universe drakkhani emulate a lot of human customs, including marriage rituals. There is one traditional custom though, in drakk culture a pair-bond would often fly together in a dance then grab each other's hands and free fall as they are falling to their deaths they let go and ascend back up together. Then the Shaman of the clan pronounces them as a pair. Because of their polyamory they often have no need to "Fall-bond" and most will just hook up have sex and lay eggs and move one. This is common in small sub-clans when they need to expand the gene pool.
13: Q: How do drakkhani feel about human monogamy?
A: They think it's a joke, they might say, "what monogamy?" in response.
14: Q: Are their funeral customs?
A: Birth and Deaths are a big deal in Drakk society. When a drakkhani dies several things happen.
-if they died naturally (age or sickness), a shaman would bless the body and ask the Goddess to consecrate their soul. Then they would have sky burial. Spine is broken and the body is bound up in white linen with bright ribbons of many colors, flowers and spices are put on the sky bundle. drakkhani would remove the horns, talons and wings, and burn them in a massive fire. They are the three most important part to a drakkhani. The mate and family member will then take the body to a mountain top to rest and become part of the forest. The rest of the clan will keen, many humans who hear a drakkhani funeral song, often get the willies, it's something like whale song and Tuvan throat singing. All members sing together.
-However if they died in battle, either their pair-mate or closest companion or brother/sister will partake of ritualized cannibalism. The will eat the heart of their fallen companion, taking their soul inside them. The rest of the body is would be buried in drakkhani fashion.
15: Q: Would the death of a drakkhani child be the same as an adult.
A: Yes, but their would probably be more grief, parents might weep in their keening song or before preforming the sky burial would maybe cradle the baby and sing it a lullaby to quiet the soul of a child that never reached adulthood (this is seen as really morbid by humans). It's also to prevent Utdene, which is the ghost of a child either taken from their mother or killed before adulthood. Utdene are often curses prevent females from having children until the spirit is put to rest.
Quirky note, in modern drakkhani culture, most older drakkhani are 'pro-life' not for the same reasons as humans though. This is based on the old superstition of the Utdene. Many older females from the home world believe that terminating an unborn baby drakkhani upset the soul of the child causing a Utdene or 'ghost curse', this is all massive superstition and may younger drakkhani don't believe in this.
16: Q: Do drakkhani have ritualized rape?
A: No only one clan does this. Bluefangs might have something like appears to be rape but it's more or less a dominate male pressing his penis against a younger male to symbolize mounting him. It's suppose to suppress the hormones to mate. Humans assume all clans do this, not a small minority and it's often sensationalized by the media.
17: Q: Do drakkhani have sex in the air?
A: yes many do, it's considered a traditional away to consummate a marriage.
18: Q: Do drakkhani masturbate?
A: Who doesn't? drakkhani don't have a large stigma on sex and self-pleasure.
19: Q: What kind of religion does drakkhani have?
A: polytheistic, they have goddess figure...Starfang and other minor gods, they also practice ancestral worship.
20: Q: Is it frowned upon for a Drakk to mate with a human
A: Yes. Drakk/human children are possible though magic, but if they are ever conceived and born they are freaks with a lot of disorders. So it's frown upon to have sex with them with the intent to breed.
21: Q: Do females have periods?
A: Twice a year. Also males have testosterone surges and are more violent than usual.
22: Q: What age to hatchings breath fire?
A: 8-18 Depending on who...Lucian was late in the fire breathing department.
23: Q: Is there sexism?
A: That's more of a human concept really.
24: Q: Do drakkhani have human vices?
A: Yes, drakkhani rarely smoke because of flight, but some drink booze, sex up everything, gamble, steal....
25: Q: Do drakkhani have any genetic disorders or disabilities.
A: Yes, "Loose-Web Syndrome" is when the webbing in the wings are weak and tear easily. Females might have "Placental Birth Disorder" in which they give birth live instead of laying eggs. They might be deaf or blind. Autistic drakkhani are kinda unheard of, since their autism wouldn't be like a human's. I like to think that all drakkhani are perpetually Aspie. XD
26: Q: What are the birthing customs?
A: drakkhani believe in "double births" the lay of the egg is the first birth and the second is the hatchling emerging from the sack, this is met with singing and blessing of the newborn. The shaman would read a poem blessing the child for it's new life within the clan. Siblings would squeak and chirp and touch the newborn. Clan members would take turn holding him/her.
27: Q: Homosexuality is considered stigmatic in drakkhani culture.
A: No. Most drakkhani are pansexual, sex is sex, it can be for breeding or having fun. What is look down upon is egg-stealing.
28: Q: Can drakkhani be racist/Specicist?
A: Yes. Anthrophobia is common for old drakks. Hatred towards elves is also considered to be a drakkhani thing
29: Q: Are drakkhani big in adoption?
A: Yes, drakkhani are communal, while hatchlings in the clan bond with their parents; everyone raises the hatchlings as well, so hatchlings regard clan members as “aunties and uncles” and see them as extended parents. Some same-sex pairs adopt eggs that have been orphaned or abandoned. Will they raise a human child? Yes. If it was abandoned or orphaned around their aerie.
30: Q: Are drakkhani literate?
A: Yes and No. Most can read Drakk in easily learning English or any human language takes longer
31: Q: How do drakkhani show affection or love or arousal?
A: nursing hatchlings wag their tails while feeding, babies will purr while being held. These infantile behaviors are still exhibited by adults while they are with their pair or lover. drakkhani won't kiss unless they are influence by humans, to show the same sort of intimacy, pairs will:
-Nuzzle noses,
-Rub their horns together
-Rub their tails together
-Cover each other in their wings
-Nuzzle necks
-Kneed or massage backs, (where the wings connect)
Arousal can be pretty damn obvious sometimes, Males will have their phallus exposed, but in the same time that can also be a sign of dominance or aggression not always "ooh I'm horny" They might lick the air, growl low or wiggle their ears. Funny enough humans often think that when males expose, it's because their aroused, and many often get hurt by interfering with male displaying dominance.
Little boys often have their phallus exposed too as hatchlings, they might hump the air as well, much to their parents annoyance (and this is often discouraged). They stop this at age 3, but it start alllll over again at age 13, males want to rub up against everything on the account of the surge of testosterone and several other hormones that humans lack, and females start going through their bi annual heats. It's a lovely time to grow up 8D
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Theory of Mind...not just for autists
Once again, people bring up faulty information
And once again I have to tell someone to STFU.
No one has theory of mind, no one. It's a socio-political tool to demonetize the neuroatypical, it's poor researched and executed. People need to stop mentioning shit that they know nothing about!
And once again I have to tell someone to STFU.
No one has theory of mind, no one. It's a socio-political tool to demonetize the neuroatypical, it's poor researched and executed. People need to stop mentioning shit that they know nothing about!
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Appropriatness and Happiness:
If Tikaani isn't lining up his action figures or playing with his legos, he's watching TV. Not that I mind. I can do my laundry and wash dishes without him shouting "AUNTIE!" But as of late he has been watching "Ni Hao Kai Lan". I keep asking him if he wants to watch Bey Blade or if he wants to get out his Pokemon DVDs or if he wants me to change the channel to Nat Geo. Instead, I get a whine followed by hair pulling, Tikaani-ese for "No no no no, don't do that." So I let him watch it without interruption. As much as it personally embarrassing for me to have my 16 year old to watch something meant for four year olds. I have to simply let it go. If it isn't harmful to others or himself or destructive, I can't really stop him.
Besides, the trade off is that he is learning Mandarin Chinese...that's not really a bad benefit.
((modern setting for essay purposes))
Kim wrote this weeks ago, and I decided to write a response about it. Something that really needs to be touched on as an autist.
I don't see why it is painful for a parent to see their child happy. If your seven year old is still watching Telly Tubbies and bouncing around I don't see how that is heartbreaking or tragic. I don't get why we have to have play with age appropriate games and watch age appropriate TV programs in order to be happy. I don't see why a girl can't play Tonka trucks or a boy with her sister's Barbies. Why is appropriateness and happiness have to interlock?
I guess it bothers me a bit because of the pressure to be just like our typically developing peers. That we putting pressure on kids to interact and share like interests with our peers and not just be happy with what fascinates us. I saw nothing wrong as a fifteen year old to religiously watch "Sagwa: The Chinese Siamese Cat" on PBS. I was happy and my sister and I watched it together (without fighting OhEmGee!) and it was generally a happy time after so much stress from school and Katie and I loved to watch it. Just as we both loved watching Sailor Moon (MOON PRISM POWAAAAAH!) and later Outlaw Star. Should I have been watching shows appropriate to my age and mental level? Yeah, but yet. Those shows were geared towards social protocols and cues that I was rather obvious of. I wasn't interested in who was dating who or what secret Character A was carrying. I didn't get into that until I was at least twenty. I was more interested with the story being told than all the social details. So watched cartoons like "Sagwa" and "Big Guy and Rusty" and "Astro Boy". I was into the story.
The point however is that later I did watch shows like "CSI", "Bones" and "House" which are more for my age level than cartoons. Sure it took me a while, but never the less it came. So I still obsess over cartoons than I do over TV dramas. Yet in end does it actually matter? Why is heartbreaking to see me laughing my head off or grinning like a fool? Why do you have to feel embarrassed when I am rubbing my face on plush animal or lining something up?
Why the very real joy, is the same as the very real pain? Can you answer that?
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