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Tuesday, June 29, 2010

The Source of Shame

If you haven't noticed I haven't been ranting much as of late. Not that there isn't much to rant to as so much as, I have just been rather overloaded and lazy. Anthrocon was this pass weekend. Once I year I trek up to Pittsburgh, wear a fluffy tail and run around with the other crazy fursuit wearing deviants.

While I can go on and talk about many things, including how I went on a epic drunken rant about autistic identity and how I ran around with a bra on my head on Sunday night. I can talk about how fursuit wearing is a reflection of cultural mask wearing and how that will make a good parallel to the ideaism of passing for typical. However I am not going to talk about that today I will however talk about something else.

The construct of what is to be normal is something of abnormal thing itself. I talked about how humans are paradoxical with their craving for conformity while thusly calling out for more diversity. I've also talked privilege in the neruological context. I've ranted and raved and gone off about a lot of things. Parents, normal people, autistic people, ASAN, AutSpks. Everyone gets a bit of “fang” so to speak. Yet as I step back and look through my essays and diatribe I can't help and wonder what is all doing? What is this all four. Just for me to vent? To show people a less flowery overly saccharine view of being autistic? If not, then what?

I think...I think pride is probably an interesting topic I should share. Iroh said an interesting quote on the show Avatar the Last Airbender. ”Pride is not the the absence of shame, but it's source” I look at pride as a very dualistic concept. It's either empowering or damning and it's often both. There is a reason why Pride is a deadly sin in the Christian mythos. It's very blinding and arrogance often kills you first before any sword or bullet would. Yet when we talk about autistic pride or gay pride, I have to wonder? When will it engender shame? What is the line between subtle arrogance and confidence?

Elitism is not a stranger to the autist rights community or the disability rights group, transphobia is frequent around the Queer community. I am not blind to the autphobia of the AutComm. It's pretty transparent. The schism of low/high is something of a dead-horse topic, but it's relevant to the concept of identity pride. When you are proud that you are autistic, do you wonder how it actually benefits you?

Bard out.

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